Wow!

I've been trying to make this a habit that I'd miss if I didn't do it, but I missed last night and didn't even realize it!! I wish I heard from more of my friends and family through this blog, but then I realized I don't comment on others blogs, so no worries.

I am turning 36 tomorrow -- 2 years away from my 20th High School Reunion!! Why does getting old go so fast, and hurt so much! Not so much hurt, but recovery time sure takes longer!! Cameron has registered for JUNIOR HIGH ----AAAGGGHHH!!! I know he thinks I'm old, but one of my kids' babysitters said -- "You're one of the cool old people, Heather!" Thanks, I guess. :)

The splits might not happen, but I have not given up -- check back on Memorial Day. I will do them!!! I can do a lot of other cool things: backbend, this cool tree-pose, and then this pretzel-like pose where I clasp my hands through my right leg and slowly stand on my left leg while I am balancing. I'm going to try and get a picture posted. I'm pretty impressed with myself! :)

Happy Birthday to me!!

It has been statistically proven that birthdays are good for your health -- the more you have, the longer you live!! :)

Love
H

Two Weeks Already!

Well, I hope you missed my lack of entry last week. I was "hired" to assist in running a research/focus group -- recruiting participants, hounding them to make sure they showed up, and pulling lots of little details together. Boy, am I grateful I don't HAVE to work! I just do not have the energy or multi-directional attention to excel in family and home, and do a job too. My props go out to all those who do have to work and raise a family, but I also feel grateful that I devote so much of myself to this important work of running a home and raising 4 amazing, beautiful, talented kids. I definitely realized how much I really do when I couldn't do all of it last week. Even the "little things" like giving baths, reading books, snuggling in the morning, watching shows together, doing puzzles and homework, are BIG in the life of the kids -- and me!! I really love being a mom and I see all the ways I have shaped my mothering to complement my style, my life, and the priorities in it. That is one thing I know for sure -- your kids want YOU! They want to see, hear, feel,and experience who YOU are -- not who you think you need to be to be "a good mom", but who you really are to your core. They also want to see you experience them, soak them in, share in their light and life, glory in all their amazing-ness!

I love that I have learned that I need to fully embrace all that makes me "Heather", because only then will they have an example to follow of how to embrace their essence. I have struggled with trying to be the best mom I can be, and have learned that I need to be the best Heather I can be, and then the rest will fall into place. WHOA -- Right? Now, I still get frustrated, angry, bummed, discouraged, doubting -- but with so much less intensity and frequency than before. I owe a lot of that to a quote by Naomi Wolf and the quote by Nelson Mandela you see on this page. Naomi asserts that mothers can actually VACCINATE their daughters from low self-esteem/image by radiating their own self-love and self-acceptance. Not preaching or critiquing, not chiding or dismissing yourself, not catering to or spoiling them with vanity and pride, but by RADIATING it from your core like a candle burning within you. Hopefully my candle is more like a warm fire in a comfy cabin now, and I plan on it becoming brighter and more intense as the years go by.

After hearing that quote, it became a mantra for me -- one who has struggled, for the first 25-or-so years of my life, with accepting and loving herself, JUST AS I AM. I encourage anyone who is still trying to understand their role, their purpose, their essence to grab onto those things that make you authentically happy and relish them! You don't have to be a parent to radiate love and acceptance -- you just need to remember that we aren't the source of the light, we are just conduits, we are the mirrors reflecting light into the dark places in this world, into the hearts, homes, and lives we touch. Please know how grateful I am for my life and those who share it with me.

Changing subjects -- Emma is turning "6"!! What a doll she is, so much fun, mischievousness, joie de vivre, tenderhearted, loving, competitive, determined, smart, patient with me, quick to laugh -- just TOO CUTE!! I often say -- "Emma, will you do me a favor? 'Yes, Mom.' 'Will you please stop being so cute 'cause I can hardly stand it sometimes!' (This is when she realizes how much she means to me and she grins her dimpled smile and says, 'NO, Mom!' 'Please, Emma, I don't think I can take it, you're just too cute!!' 'NO, Mom!' 'You mean you'll promise to stay cute for me forever and never change?' 'NO, Mom! I mean, Yes, Mom!' 'OK, as long as you promise to never forget how much I love you, I won't make you stop being cute. Deal?' 'O-K, Mom!" (This is when she rolls her eyes at me, but is still smirking with that little dimpled smile.) UGGHH -- I almost can't handle it!!! I am truly blessed to not have only one child that I love beyond words, but 4 true gifts from God, and a wonderful husband to share it all with. Do whatever you can to SEE into the heart of a child, whether it's yours, or another's -- all children need to feel seen, heard, and known. May you feel love, laughter, and light in your life...

Until next time --
H

Birthdays and Hives

Well, Curtis' cough is finally better. He turned "36" on February 23rd and spent his day fishing. I recruited help from some family and friends and started decorating and constructing closet organizers for his office as a surprise. It's still a bit of a mess but, it will look great! A real MAN-CAVE!! We went out for dinner to a Thai restaurant on Friday night, and by Saturday, he had an allergic reacton to who-knows what -- Hives! Swollen eye, hands, splotches, mild fever, and general discomfort -- what a way to commemorate a birthday! He is looking much better today -- he can finally get his ring loose again. It had been stuck on his swollen fingers, it was CRAZY!!

Curtis's brother Lance is here for a visit. He's looking to relocate after an extended hang-out session at his parents in Ontario, OR. He is a super-talented artist and is hoping to get back into the grind of adulthood, finding a job, and maybe getting a girl!! We're all glad to help him out -- that's what family is for!

I am gearing up for Emma's birthday next, then mine. It's nice to have the birthdays is a chunk -- the Feb/Mar, and then June/July.

I have posted a new site that I hope you all will check out. I have been a fan of Ben Stein for awhile, and saw that he has a movie coming out! You have got to check out the super trailer! What is it that we can do -- what difference will it really make? I am telling you right now -- "The only thing for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." This is a crazy time with technology, opinion, truth, ignorance, politics, and daily living to deal with. But it is a true gift to have access to information and our right to ask questions. Find a way to make your voice heard. Study out the issues that concern you and don't allow the "Liberal fascism" movement take hold. (You can google that term.)

Soap Box? Yes, a little. There are a lot of things that sound good, but one thing to remember is that only you have the power to make your life what you want. You just have to know WHAT YOU REALLY WANT! Just keep asking questions until you get answers that resonate within you.

I'll close with a joke I heard once concerning creation --

After thousands of years, scientists were thrilled that they had finally figured out how to create man from the dust. By doing so, they were convinced that God was no longer necessary. They presented their "man" to God and expressed their sense of accomplishment. God replied, "Get your own dust."

There are so many better ways to spend the time than trying to prove whether or not God exists, and whether or not He is relevant. I concur with the sentiment of CS Lewis, "I know God exists, in the way that I know the sun exists. Not because I can see it, but because by it, I can see everything else." (paraphrased quote)

I know that each day I can try a little harder to do a little better in my life -- I hope the same for you.

Love-
H