After enjoying a pretty great week-end, I feel flooded by the thoughts that possess my mind. I am filled with a desire bordering on craving for organization, a longing to lose myself in 2 days of sleep, a rage to get moving and wake up my lazy mind and metabolism with invigorating, aching exercise, and a deep-seated need to find how to let go of these desires, cravings, hungers, rages, and release them to a place of peace, acceptance, and awareness that IT is enough.
What is IT? You have to decide for yourself...it changes about every couple of days for me. I do know that I have to rediscover the basic truth that whatever I do, it is enough...even if I don't think so. Will I ever think what I do is enough, that what I am striving for will be reached? Are the dreams too grand, the hopes too high, the acceptance too little, too late?
I always feel better when I am able to allow my things to go to their next home. I really don't think i have a big problem with being possessed by my things -- but I am too often possessed by my thoughts, my aspirations, my hopelessness, and my dreams... and knowing how little I've done, how little I can claim, and how much I just want to load my husband and kids in a kick-a** RV and travel the continents, learning, exploring, and growing together without so much outside interference!! It is why we picked our home -- I wanted a place that I didn't have to live to take care of, to have a safe place to fall but not collapse under the burden of cleaning, bills, and stuff of life. So how to let go of the clutter in my mind, the storage files and mementos that fill my thoughts, determine my energy, and trap my heart?
This will be an interesting month...
Good Luck to you!
1 comment:
Thanks for this post Heather. You put into words a lot of the feeling I have also been having lately. Its nice to know Im not alone.
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