Two Weeks Already!

Well, I hope you missed my lack of entry last week. I was "hired" to assist in running a research/focus group -- recruiting participants, hounding them to make sure they showed up, and pulling lots of little details together. Boy, am I grateful I don't HAVE to work! I just do not have the energy or multi-directional attention to excel in family and home, and do a job too. My props go out to all those who do have to work and raise a family, but I also feel grateful that I devote so much of myself to this important work of running a home and raising 4 amazing, beautiful, talented kids. I definitely realized how much I really do when I couldn't do all of it last week. Even the "little things" like giving baths, reading books, snuggling in the morning, watching shows together, doing puzzles and homework, are BIG in the life of the kids -- and me!! I really love being a mom and I see all the ways I have shaped my mothering to complement my style, my life, and the priorities in it. That is one thing I know for sure -- your kids want YOU! They want to see, hear, feel,and experience who YOU are -- not who you think you need to be to be "a good mom", but who you really are to your core. They also want to see you experience them, soak them in, share in their light and life, glory in all their amazing-ness!

I love that I have learned that I need to fully embrace all that makes me "Heather", because only then will they have an example to follow of how to embrace their essence. I have struggled with trying to be the best mom I can be, and have learned that I need to be the best Heather I can be, and then the rest will fall into place. WHOA -- Right? Now, I still get frustrated, angry, bummed, discouraged, doubting -- but with so much less intensity and frequency than before. I owe a lot of that to a quote by Naomi Wolf and the quote by Nelson Mandela you see on this page. Naomi asserts that mothers can actually VACCINATE their daughters from low self-esteem/image by radiating their own self-love and self-acceptance. Not preaching or critiquing, not chiding or dismissing yourself, not catering to or spoiling them with vanity and pride, but by RADIATING it from your core like a candle burning within you. Hopefully my candle is more like a warm fire in a comfy cabin now, and I plan on it becoming brighter and more intense as the years go by.

After hearing that quote, it became a mantra for me -- one who has struggled, for the first 25-or-so years of my life, with accepting and loving herself, JUST AS I AM. I encourage anyone who is still trying to understand their role, their purpose, their essence to grab onto those things that make you authentically happy and relish them! You don't have to be a parent to radiate love and acceptance -- you just need to remember that we aren't the source of the light, we are just conduits, we are the mirrors reflecting light into the dark places in this world, into the hearts, homes, and lives we touch. Please know how grateful I am for my life and those who share it with me.

Changing subjects -- Emma is turning "6"!! What a doll she is, so much fun, mischievousness, joie de vivre, tenderhearted, loving, competitive, determined, smart, patient with me, quick to laugh -- just TOO CUTE!! I often say -- "Emma, will you do me a favor? 'Yes, Mom.' 'Will you please stop being so cute 'cause I can hardly stand it sometimes!' (This is when she realizes how much she means to me and she grins her dimpled smile and says, 'NO, Mom!' 'Please, Emma, I don't think I can take it, you're just too cute!!' 'NO, Mom!' 'You mean you'll promise to stay cute for me forever and never change?' 'NO, Mom! I mean, Yes, Mom!' 'OK, as long as you promise to never forget how much I love you, I won't make you stop being cute. Deal?' 'O-K, Mom!" (This is when she rolls her eyes at me, but is still smirking with that little dimpled smile.) UGGHH -- I almost can't handle it!!! I am truly blessed to not have only one child that I love beyond words, but 4 true gifts from God, and a wonderful husband to share it all with. Do whatever you can to SEE into the heart of a child, whether it's yours, or another's -- all children need to feel seen, heard, and known. May you feel love, laughter, and light in your life...

Until next time --
H